Start here
The Kigali Genocide Memorial at Gisozi is the national museum of the genocide and the right first visit. It gives you the history — how ethnic categories were constructed and hardened, how the killing was organised, and what happened afterwards — which every other site assumes you already have.
The preserved sites
Nyamata and Ntarama, in Bugesera south of Kigali, are churches left close to how they were found: clothing, belongings, remains. Murambi, in the south, displays lime-preserved bodies in the classrooms of an unfinished school. These are the two that require a deliberate decision.
Camp Kigali
Camp Kigali, in the centre of the capital, marks the killing of ten Belgian UN peacekeepers on the first day of the genocide. They had been deployed to guard the moderate prime minister, were disarmed by Presidential Guard soldiers and taken to the camp, where they were killed. Ten stone columns stand for the ten men. It is small, contained and a manageable introduction to the subject — which is why the Kigali city tour usually includes it rather than going straight to Gisozi.
Bisesero and Kibuye
Bisesero sits about 30km from Karongi on Lake Kivu. The area was historically Tutsi, and in 1994 the population mounted weeks of organised armed resistance in the hills — which is why it is known as the Hill of Resistance. Around 50,000 people were killed there. The site's beauty, looking down over the lake, is deliberately unresolved against what happened on it.
The memorial church at Karongi, built on a hill by the victims' relatives, honours some 4,000 people killed in the church beside it, and is one of the most affecting sites in the country.
Visiting responsibly
Dress as for a funeral. Do not photograph remains. Do not use the word "tribal" — the categories were administrative, then colonial, then lethal, and Rwandans will correct you. Guides at most sites are survivors; they are not obliged to tell you their own story, and asking directly is a lot to ask. Around the Kwibuka commemoration period from 7 April, sites are busy and the national mood is subdued — plan accordingly, and see best time to visit.